Player Profiles

Chris Lyall (President)

UK Garlando Rank: Pro
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Chris has become Warwick's most consistently good player in his short time here, in addition to taking on the role of President, which he is probably regretting due to the realisation that no-one in the exec is anywhere near as competent as him. The world's most enthusiastic fooser, he barely ever misses anything foos related, and likes to make massive Warwickfoos and Britfoos posts about even the most minor of things. In a somewhat non-expected move, Chris has followed Steve's path in joining team angry as of late, normally when getting the exec to do anything, or losing to someone he really shouldn't in OS.
Favourite Shot: Pull kick, snake, pin shot, everything good
Forum name: thrillz

Colin Fallon (Secretary)

UK Garlando Rank: Pro
Subject: English
Profile: Colin has developed a very effective (and infuriating) singles game this year, full of hacks and pin shots that just seem destined to go in. He is also Warwick's highest ranking pro, thanks to consistently solid tournament performances. Sadly, as we all know, being a pro sucks, so he rarely attends tournaments any more. Or maybe it's the fear of losing to yet more girls, or the fact that nobody wants to play 'I'm thinking of' with him any more.
Favourite shot: Hack
Forum name: col

Rob Chesworth (Treasurer)

UK Garlando Rank: Novice
Subject: Classics
Profile: Rob entered the world of Warwickfoos halfway through his first year, and immediately became a core member of the society - once we worked out that he does actually exist. (Don't mention the Rob Chesworth Thread!) Now a regular attendee at weekly sessions and tournaments, he's best known for being a fan of American football and death metal, usually not at the same time.
Favourite shot: Tap bang
Forum name: robbb12354

Nik Doran (Logistics Officer)

UK Garlando Rank: Amateur
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Nik excels at three things: computer skillz, event planning and irritating Luke. Notice that foos isn't on that list... anyway, we were going to make a joke about how Nik's long hair gives him all his skills, Samson-style, except 1) he's cut it now and 2) he never had any skills to begin with. Rumours that Nik once hit a push pin are wildly exaggerated - it was actually a pull pin that cut back.
Favourite shot: 1mph pin shot
Forum name: Nik

Jonny Elliott (Social Secretary)

UK Garlando Rank: Amateur
Subject: Physics
Profile: Jonny was forced into foos in his second year by Rich, who dragged him along to the table between lectures. Since then, he has become a very good player, learning every possible shot under the sun pretty well. He is certainly the joker at Warwick, and likes to take his foos completely non-seriously at all times. As such it's unlikely we'll ever see him at a tournament, and so he'll remain the most under ranked player in the UK for some time. Luckily for us, that makes him a very good social sec, and this year has seen some epic all you can eat socials already.
Favourite shot: Sling, "Up the BUM", angled pin shot
Forum name: jonblob

Tom Willetts (Events Co-ordinator)

UK Garlando Rank: Amateur
Subject: Maths and Stats
Profile: Tom spent a year as probably the fresher with the most potential and has quickly become addicted to the game, sacrificing his revision time to play foos. He's already learnt to snake with ruthless efficiency, and has come close to some big scalps at the few tournaments he's attended, along with a lot of trophies. He became the lowest ranked Warwick player to win a semi-pro doubles event and keeps on grinding out results in the amateur events. Certainly a huge prospect for the future.
Favourite shot: A little bit of everything
Forum name: Willy

Rich Marsh

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Physics
Profile: Somehow Rich fought his way through the pressure and the jokes about his hair to become one of Warwick's best first-years. In the second year started going wrong though, as he dropped about twenty places in the UK rankings. Still, he's a quality attacker and has a high standard in all parts of his game (including aerials, sadly).
Favourite shot: Snake, euro-to-fakey, eclipse - it changes every week
Forum name: sk8ram

Luke Ashley

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Luke could actually be amazing at foos, if it weren't for his failure to accept any positive comments about his game or his remarkable ability to instantly give up when he's a goal down against a weaker opponent. He joined team anti-tornado early on in his foos career and doesn't look likely to convert any time soon. Still, he has gone down as one of the most effective presidents in the history of Warwickfoos (although that isn't really saying much).
Favourite shot: Hammer
Forum name: sparky

Matt Rose

UK Garlando Rank: Amateur
Subject: History & Politics
Profile: Matt's relatively arty subject and quiet nature translate into a gentle playing style - he knocks in shots from defence and refuses to snake up front. It would be too easy to make jokes about his height, so I won't. I'll just say that while he may be short on power he has more than a little character which has the ability to dwarf other players.
Favourite shot: Tap-bang, dink
Forum name: Quinion

Alan Truong

UK Garlando Rank: Amateur
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Alan is a very methodical player, and likes to use up his full 15 seconds on the 3-bar by setting up a pin shot very… very… slowly. He is actually one of Warwick's fastest improving players, but he refuses to accept this, or anything else positive. In fact he is famed for his unerring pessimism and likes to unleash soul-crushing comments at other players.
Favourite shot: "Damn, lost it"
Forum name: clhcla

Gerald Tan

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Business??
Profile: Gerald appears to have been born knowing how to snake. Unfortunately he still can't manage any other shots successfully so he's still playing in exactly the same way that he was in his first week at Warwick. Gerald is the newest member of Team Angry, as he treats an opponent saving his snake as some sort of terrible insult and lets fly with a bunch of Malaysian swear words. He also enjoys shaving his head in unusual ways, which results in everyone laughing at him.
Favourite shot: Snake
Forum name: NiN86

Alumni

Chris Haigh (Social Secretary)

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Wasting a year doing seemingly nothing
Profile: Chris was a permanent fixture at GPS sessions (and the 6 hours before them) throughout the four years of his degree. Over this time he's managed to develop a really good brush snake game... and then completely replace it with stupid shots and aerials. When he does decide to come to a tournament he can't ever play seriously for the whole weekend, which is a rather welcome relief for most of us, especially as he's always planning a night out the instance we arrive.
Favourite shot: Firestorm, aerials, dumbo
Forum name: chris

Tom Burdett

UK Garlando Rank: Pro-Master
Subject: Mathematics
Profile:Tommy B likes to wind people up through any number of means, whether it's playing Derren Brown mind tricks or pressuring the exec into holding tournaments for his financial gain. However, he makes up for this by winning just about everything the society has done in the past two years. Despite constantly being our highest-ranked member he has a history of doing no work for the society - worryingly, this was especially true when he was President.
Favourite shot: Every shot, done better than everyone else
Forum name: teeb

Steve Lyall

UK Garlando Rank: Pro-Master
Subject: Engineering
Profile: Steve is known first and foremost not for his table football expertise, or for his skillz at charming the ladies, but for being Team Angry's greatest member. He flawlessly transfered this anger to the position of President, which he held for almost a year and has impressively didn't kill anyone, not even Luke. He's now become Warwick's top defender after years of perfecting lethal 2-bar shots; if only his snake was as good.
Favourite shot: Endless 2-bar tic-tac series
Forum name: skillz

Andrew Nubbert

UK Garlando Rank: Pro-Master
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Nubbert is something of a legend within the society, if only because everyone likes to insult him at every opportunity. His playing style is "fiercely nonconformist", which basically means "annoying". In every game he angers his opponents with a frustrating array of hacks, dinks and pin-wrenches, which many Warwickites would say is because he's rubbish at doing real shots. However, he silenced his critics by becoming the first ever Warwick fooser to win an open event at a tournament (unlucky, Teeb).
Favourite shot: "the Nubbert" (a really slow dink)
Forum name: ybbun

Tom Hampson

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Physics
Profile: Tom has his own quirky foosball style, shooting a stupidly fast tap-bang (and missing), and shouting "BANG" before hitting it really hard from the 2-bar (and missing again). When he bothers snaking he usually scores, but he hardly ever does this as he's avoided the last hundred tournaments to protect his precious wrist. Favourite activities include injuring various body parts, and getting annoyed as we all pester him on the forum to arrange more socials. Th?
Favourite shot: Anything open-palmed and supersonic
Forum name: t-rex

John Harvey

UK Garlando Rank: Novice
Subject: Morse
Profile: John is a dedicated society member - he's been around for years and although he doesn't play much nationally ranking table football he's a constant fixture at Thursday night sessions. He's invaluable at tournaments, helping the beleaguered exec with assembling tables - he also drives the van and only occasionally crashes it.
Favourite shot: 2-bar push shot
Forum name: john

Joe Latimer

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Joe takes pride in being an incredibly easily angered person - the top three things that make him angry are losing, Nubbert, and losing to Nubbert. Joe has perfected the most monotonous brush-pass-to-snake game in the world, which he now puts to use when he's at tournaments (and when he isn't). Outside of table football he enjoys playing pool, dressing like a chav, and acting like a chav.
Favourite shot: Snake
Forum name: J-Man

Kennith Leong

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Subject: Electronic Engineering
Profile: Ken has been around for longer than almost anyone else - few people nowadays remember the dark days when Ken was President of the society. Still, his experience is invaluable as he gave us all a lesson in the indispensable skills of hitting the ball ridiculously hard from defence and hacking repeatedly from midfield. He is also an asset behind the desk at any tournament, giving us pronunciation tips on those tough names like "Joe Latimer" and "Oli Deakin".
Favourite shot: 1000mph pin shot
Forum name: Kendrix

Dan Kingston

UK Garlando Rank: Pro
Profile: Dan left Warwick over a year ago, but we still don't seem to be able to get rid of him as he keeps turning up at tournaments. Dan is something of a 'lively' character, which means he is constantly out of control and enjoys activities such as making loud monkey noises, crotch-punching unsuspecting victims, stealing Nubbert's mattress, getting tents thrown at him and constantly baiting and terrorising everyone in the society.
Favourite shot: Anything stupid
Forum name: monkey

Phil Pratt

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Profile: Phil is one of the scorned minority of arts students in Warwickfoos, but he receives particular ridicule because he seems to think his degree was "Greece and Rome". He did become President for a year in an effort to try and gain some respect, but he doesn't seem to have had much success. He likes to return to tournaments every now and then to blitz us with his snake defence, and remind us how amusing his hair is.
Favourite shot: 360 d-d-degree snake
Forum name: Doshin

Sun-Ho Kim

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Profile: None of Warwick's veterans can ever forget Sun - mostly they can't forget how easy it was to take advantage of him, leading to the "Tesco" incident and the "knocking on his window" affair. He has now left us to do something stupid like get a job, and also something even more stupid like playing on Bonzinis at Bar Kick. However his legacy will always live on in Warwick, as he loves to invent shots and name them after himself.
Favourite shot: "the rising sun", "the blinding sun", "SunSilk" etc
Forum name: nxtyear

Harry Cummings

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Profile: Harry was secretary for two years, in which time he basically did everything for the society. Without him the society would probably have fallen apart long ago - even though he has now left and everything is being run without him, the rest of us still wouldn't have a clue what to do if Harry hadn't told us already. Somehow in the midst of this he also found time to actually play table football and win events - how does he find the time?
Favourite shot: "random defensive slop"
Forum name: fool_on_the_hill

Adam Baker

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Profile: Adam is the oldest member of Warwickfoos - with carbon dating we have recently managed to estimate his age at around 12,000 years old. He has now qualified as a doctor, but still frequently turns up at league sessions to thrash us young fools at table football. He is also the owner of the worst Garlando table ever - which he lends us to use at tournaments, much to our detriment.
Favourite shot: Pin shot, tic-tac
Forum name: Adam

James Harrold

UK Garlando Rank: Semi-Pro
Profile: Jimbobv is a top defender whose 2-bar shots are sometimes unstoppable. He performed the unique 'sandbagging' trick of splitting himself into two people on the UK rankings, allowing him to stay Amateur for years. When he comes to tournaments he usually does well, and when he goes to the Worlds he usually ends up in embarrassing and partially clothed situations.
Favourite shot: Pin shot
Forum name: er, he never posts