Player Profiles

Tom Burdett

UK Garlando Rank: 2nd (Pro-Master)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile:Tommy B likes to wind people up through any number of means, whether it's playing Derren Brown mind tricks or pressuring the exec into holding tournaments for his financial gain. However, he makes up for this by winning just about everything the society has done in the past two years. Despite constantly being our highest-ranked member he has a history of doing no work for the society - worryingly, this was especially true when he was President.
Favourite shot: Every shot, done better than everyone else
Forum name: teeb

Steve Lyall

UK Garlando Rank: 6th (Pro-Master)
Subject: Engineering
Profile: Steve is known first and foremost not for his table football expertise, or for his skillz at charming the ladies, but for being Team Angry's greatest member. He flawlessly transfered this anger to the position of President, which he held for almost a year and has impressively didn't kill anyone, not even Luke. He's now become Warwick's top defender after years of perfecting lethal 2-bar shots; if only his snake was as good.
Favourite shot: Endless 2-bar tic-tac series
Forum name: skillz

Andrew Nubbert

UK Garlando Rank: 13th (Pro-Master)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Nubbert is something of a legend within the society, if only because everyone likes to insult him at every opportunity. His playing style is "fiercely nonconformist", which basically means "annoying". In every game he angers his opponents with a frustrating array of hacks, dinks and pin-wrenches, which many Warwickites would say is because he's rubbish at doing real shots. However, he silenced his critics by becoming the first ever Warwick fooser to win an open event at a tournament (unlucky, Teeb).
Favourite shot: "the Nubbert" (a really slow dink)
Forum name: ybbun

Tom Hampson

UK Garlando Rank: 31st (Pro)
Subject: Physics
Profile: Tom has his own quirky foosball style, shooting a stupidly fast tap-bang (and missing), and shouting "BANG" before hitting it really hard from the 2-bar (and missing again). When he bothers snaking he usually scores, but he hardly ever does this as he's avoided the last hundred tournaments to protect his precious wrist. Favourite activities include injuring various body parts, and getting annoyed as we all pester him on the forum to arrange more socials. Th?
Favourite shot: Anything open-palmed and supersonic
Forum name: t-rex

Joe Latimer

UK Garlando Rank: 39th (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Joe takes pride in being an incredibly easily angered person - the top three things that make him angry are losing, Nubbert, and losing to Nubbert. Joe has perfected the most monotonous brush-pass-to-snake game in the world, which he now puts to use when he's at tournaments (and when he isn't). Outside of table football he enjoys playing pool, dressing like a chav, and acting like a chav.
Favourite shot: Snake
Forum name: J-Man

Kennith Leong

UK Garlando Rank: 48th (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Electronic Engineering
Profile: Ken has been around for longer than almost anyone else - few people nowadays remember the dark days when Ken was President of the society. Still, his experience is invaluable as he gave us all a lesson in the indispensable skills of hitting the ball ridiculously hard from defence and hacking repeatedly from midfield. He is also an asset behind the desk at any tournament, giving us pronunciation tips on those tough names like "Joe Latimer" and "Oli Deakin".
Favourite shot: 1000mph pin shot
Forum name: Kendrix

Colin Fallon (Secretary)

UK Garlando Rank: 42nd (Semi-Pro)
Subject: English
Profile: Colin has somehow developed into a slightly competent exec member despite his useless degree course and constant quietness. His attacking arsenal of incredibly lazy snake and rubbish 5-bar is feared throughout the country as it somehow managed to beat Cotty in what is possibly Warwick IV's finest ever moment. He is known for being calm and never gets nervous in serious games (except when playing Louise Brice).
Favourite shot: Hack
Forum name: col

Luke Ashley (President)

UK Garlando Rank: 53rd (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Luke's enthusiasm shines through constantly - whether it's his endless and frustrating quest to develop a 2-way snake, or his thousand posts per day on the forum. This enthusiasm has led him to become our most efficient Treasurer ever, and now our most enthusiastic President. He's most often seen behind a cash box somewhere, or at a tournament begging Nubbert to be his doubles partner.
Favourite shot: Top ten snake
Forum name: sparky

Chris Haigh (Social Secretary)

UK Garlando Rank: 55th (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Engineering
Profile: Chris has made a name for himself with his high voice and good-natured banter. He certainly hasn't with his table football skills. Chris can hardly spend five minutes at the table without trying an aerial or a ridiculously bad new shot. This is probably a good thing though as it brings a light-hearted side to league sessions and serious games. If only Chris could remember how to play foosball seriously, he might be quite good at it…
Favourite shot: the "Firestorm"
Forum name: chris

Gerald Tan

UK Garlando Rank: 72nd (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Business??
Profile: Gerald appears to have been born knowing how to snake. Unfortunately he still can't manage any other shots successfully so he's still playing in exactly the same way that he was in his first week at Warwick. Gerald is the newest member of Team Angry, as he treats an opponent saving his snake as some sort of terrible insult and lets fly with a bunch of Malaysian swear words. He also enjoys shaving his head in unusual ways, which results in everyone laughing at him.
Favourite shot: Snake
Forum name: NiN86

Rich Marsh (Treasurer)

UK Garlando Rank: 59th (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Physics
Profile: Somehow Rich fought his way through the pressure and the jokes about his hair to become one of Warwick's best first-years. In the second year started going wrong though, as he dropped about twenty places in the UK rankings. Still, he's a quality attacker and has a high standard in all parts of his game (including aerials, sadly).
Favourite shot: Snake, euro-to-fakey, eclipse - it changes every week
Forum name: sk8ram

Alan Truong

UK Garlando Rank: 198th (Amateur)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Alan is a very methodical player, and likes to use up his full 15 seconds on the 3-bar by setting up a pin shot very… very… slowly. He is actually one of Warwick's fastest improving players, but he refuses to accept this, or anything else positive. In fact he is famed for his unerring pessimism and likes to unleash soul-crushing comments at other players.
Favourite shot: "Damn, lost it"
Forum name: clhcla

Nik Doran (Events Co-ordinator)

UK Garlando Rank: 232th (Amateur)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: Nik turned up halfway through the first year after Luke dragged him to a league session. Since then it all went downhill for him; he picked up all the in-jokes, started practicing, and within weeks he was annoying Luke on the forum like the rest of us. He often saves the society with his computer skillz when Rich's laptop breaks, and he also has the dubious honour of having the longest hair in Warwickfoos.
Favourite shot: Over-raced tap bang
Forum name: Nik

Matt Rose

UK Garlando Rank: 243th (Amateur)
Subject: History & Politics
Profile: Matt's relatively arty subject and quiet nature translate into a gentle playing style - he knocks in shots from defence and refuses to snake up front. It would be too easy to make jokes about his height, so I won't. I'll just say that while he may be short on power he has more than a little character which has the ability to dwarf other players.
Favourite shot: Tap-bang, dink
Forum name: Quinion

John Harvey

UK Garlando Rank: 332nd (Novice)
Subject: Morse
Profile: John is a dedicated society member - he's been around for years and although he doesn't play much nationally ranking table football he's a constant fixture at Thursday night sessions. He's invaluable at tournaments, helping the beleaguered exec with assembling tables - he also drives the van and only occasionally crashes it.
Favourite shot: 2-bar push shot
Forum name: john

Chris Lyall (Logistics Officer)

UK Garlando Rank: 50th (Semi-Pro)
Subject: Mathematics
Profile: As the younger Lyall, Chris has always lived in his brother's shadow - he lacks Steve's one-way snake, OG liability, anger issues… in fact, he's like a better version of Steve. He sounds a lot like Steve, but he looks more like Todd Loffredo. He stunned the table football world by coming 5th in Open Doubles at Holywell, unfortunately not knocking Steve out in the process.
Forum name: thrillz

Dan Tipton

UK Garlando Rank: 172nd (Amateur)
Subject: Social Studies
Profile: Dan is worryingly good on the 3-bar for someone who just came to Warwick - he can do pull-kicks and pin shots at lightning speed, and is even learning the snake despite apparently hating the shot. We're all quite worried that he'll be better than us soon, but at least he makes up for it by being rubbish on all bars apart from the 3.
Forum name: DJ Tipton (In The House)

Dan Merzon

UK Garlando Rank: 284th (Amateur)
Subject: Management
Profile: Dan has been one of our most enthusiastic freshers right from the first time he said "Hi foos-people". Despite being in the first year (we think), he seems to somehow know everyone on campus and live in Leamington. When he's not being a mystery he's usually found at the table practicing his tap-bangs and insulting our top players.
Forum name: Dan M

Dan Kingston

UK Garlando Rank: 9th (Pro-Master)
Profile: Dan left Warwick over a year ago, but we still don't seem to be able to get rid of him as he keeps turning up at tournaments. Dan is something of a 'lively' character, which means he is constantly out of control and enjoys activities such as making loud monkey noises, crotch-punching unsuspecting victims, stealing Nubbert's mattress, getting tents thrown at him and constantly baiting and terrorising everyone in the society.
Favourite shot: Anything stupid
Forum name: monkey

Phil Pratt

UK Garlando Rank: 26th (Pro)
Profile: Phil is one of the scorned minority of arts students in Warwickfoos, but he receives particular ridicule because he seems to think his degree was "Greece and Rome". He did become President for a year in an effort to try and gain some respect, but he doesn't seem to have had much success. He likes to return to tournaments every now and then to blitz us with his snake defence, and remind us how amusing his hair is.
Favourite shot: 360 d-d-degree snake
Forum name: Doshin

Sun-Ho Kim

UK Garlando Rank: 62nd (Semi-Pro)
Profile: None of Warwick's veterans can ever forget Sun - mostly they can't forget how easy it was to take advantage of him, leading to the "Tesco" incident and the "knocking on his window" affair. He has now left us to do something stupid like get a job, and also something even more stupid like playing on Bonzinis at Bar Kick. However his legacy will always live on in Warwick, as he loves to invent shots and name them after himself.
Favourite shot: "the rising sun", "the blinding sun", "SunSilk" etc
Forum name: nxtyear

Harry Cummings

UK Garlando Rank: 64th (Semi-Pro)
Profile: Harry was secretary for two years, in which time he basically did everything for the society. Without him the society would probably have fallen apart long ago - even though he has now left and everything is being run without him, the rest of us still wouldn't have a clue what to do if Harry hadn't told us already. Somehow in the midst of this he also found time to actually play table football and win events - how does he find the time?
Favourite shot: "random defensive slop"
Forum name: fool_on_the_hill

Adam Baker

UK Garlando Rank: 76th (Semi-Pro)
Profile: Adam is the oldest member of Warwickfoos - with carbon dating we have recently managed to estimate his age at around 12,000 years old. He has now qualified as a doctor, but still frequently turns up at league sessions to thrash us young fools at table football. He is also the owner of the worst Garlando table ever - which he lends us to use at tournaments, much to our detriment.
Favourite shot: Pin shot, tic-tac
Forum name: Adam

James Harrold

UK Garlando Rank: 79th (Semi-Pro)
Profile: Jimbobv is a top defender whose 2-bar shots are sometimes unstoppable. He performed the unique 'sandbagging' trick of splitting himself into two people on the UK rankings, allowing him to stay Amateur for years. When he comes to tournaments he usually does well, and when he goes to the Worlds he usually ends up in embarrassing and partially clothed situations.
Favourite shot: Pin shot
Forum name: er, he never posts